I love broken people.
Another addiction I need to recover from.
I let you in.
I took your demons and made them my own.
When nobody would accept you I threw myself up on the cross and bled for you.
I helped you destroy me by fighting for you.
You killed me mentally.
You took my love and ran with it.
I loved your brokenness because I was broken too.
I thought I could show you that broken people can still put their pieces back together.
But you love it.
You use it as a weapon.
At first I couldn’t see it.
Took me quite some time.
Like a fucking chemistry test I had to study you.
All of you.
You hate that I did that.
Because now I see you through you.
You forgot I've met your kind before.
The kind that make it seem like they are going to love you til the end of time and this is finally it.
And then when you aren’t ready they change into their other outfit.
Fucking dr. jekyl mr.hyde shit.
But you are good.
Oh you are so fucking good.
And you know it.
You fucking love it.
It's sick how you get off on other peoples pain.
You know how to mindfuck people.
How to make them question themselves.
Their thoughts.
Their actions.
How to make them feel like they did something wrong.
Have them looking in the mirror asking what the fuck is wrong them.
It should be your own reflection staring back.
I was trying to save you not knowing I needed saved from you.
You just kept drowning me and I forgot how to swim.
Once in awhile you would pull me back up for some air.
Only to drown me even deeper the next time.
So deep that I actually stayed there for awhile.
Until I learned to swim again.
And since I could swim you couldn’t drown me anymore.
Saving myself saved me from you.
I hope a bird shits on your face.
I hope you step on a lego barefoot.
I hope you find a friend just like you.
I hope your coffee burns your fucking tongue.
I hope you fall face first with your hands in your pockets.
I loved you so hard.
So fucking hard.
And you took it and ran with it.
Left me bleeding from the shattered pieces of you I cut myself with.
Do you remember the fights of I love you more?
Looks like I won.
Because love doesn’t do this.
Love doesn’t have you crying at night wondering why you're not enough.
Love doesn’t just leave you there wondering why either.
Love doesn't make you feel like you're insane.
Love doesn't hurt you.
A person who doesn't know how to love does.
I wish I would have done all of the things you accused me of.
You had me looking in the mirror thinking I was flawed.
I kept forgiving you until I hated you.
And it fucking hurts to hate you, but loving you is so much worse.